This is the last episode of “What My Mom Said About Me Dating With A Wheelchair User.”There are several reasons for me to start writing this story – “What My Mom Said About Me Dating With A Wheelchair User.” The first thought actually came up to my mind during this Chines New Year when I went home in Taiwan.
This year, unlike any other Chinese New Year, is the first time I went home as a married man. (Mizuki was in the U.S. doing her research or otherwise she would have been with me in Taiwan.) My mom said to me that she wants to buy Mizuki a gold necklace or a gold ring. I said “thank you but we do not need any gold necklaces nor rings.” I did not understand why my mom likes gold and wants to give Mizuki gold until I later learned the reason.
People tend to worry about the things they cannot see. A lot of people worry about the future that has not come and may never will. Those people includes me and, of course, my mom.
My mom has been very worried about my life with Mizuki, a moon rider (wheelchair user) in a foreign country, which is Japan. I understand that no matter how hard I try to convince her that I am doing just fine she will not listen. Since a picture wins a thousand words, I decided to show her more than just a picture. I brought her to Japan for a short tour.
It was in February 2014, the last 4 days of Chinese New Year vacation, I show her and my brother around Tokyo.
In 2011, Mizuki and I had been in a long distance relationship for about 4 years at the time. We were working respectively in Tokyo and in Taipei. We talked about moving in together at some point in our life but we did not have things planned out and we did not really know how to make it happen.
On March 11th, 2011, a massive earthquake hit Japan. I lost contact with Mizuki for about a day. I could not reach her on her cell phone……..
We are having our first wedding anniversary on April 12th today. Our original plan was not to celebrate it since I am doing my research in the U.S. and Jeff is working in Japan. However, in the end we decided to manage to get together and celebrate it in Boston.
In this blog, we have shared some episodes about our relationship. We also received messages and questions from readers who are in the same situations, for example people who are dating with people with disabilities, who are in a long distance relationship or in an international relationship. This time, we would like to write our stories from the beginning.
My dad is very stoical and does not let his emotion shows. I am not sure if he was actually panic inside his mind or he simply respected my life choices when I introduced Mizuki to him. My mom, on the other hand, is the type of person who is easily read. She did not have any smile on her face and she looked she was very very worried when I first introduced Mizuki to her.
My parents were against the relationship I have with Mizuki at first when they found out we are dating. It is not that they are discriminating persons with disabilities. It is just that dating with persons with disabilities is beyond what they can picture and predict.
It is Jeff. To continue the previous article I wrote about the other side of our stories, I want to talk about how to maintain a relationship, especially in a foreign country.Being in a relationship and maintaining it is very difficult. It can be more difficult if you are in a foreign country and when you are the outsider. There are 3 major factors that help me and Mizuki overcome the hardships we had and I would like to share them with you.
We look like a very happily married couple but we actually had been though a lot of argument and fights. We almost broke up last year. I know that all of you must have been experiencing times when others perceive you as you were very happy but you actually have a lot of untold sad stories.