Rules to Have A Good Time with Your Partner

3 months has passed since we got married.

Since we lived together for 4 years, I thought nothing would be changed after marriage.

However I really feel it is totally different because I changed my family name and spend more time at home.

When I look back over the past, our life was not always good.

Especially we had so many arguments in the first year Jeff moved to Japan.

We even faced the situations like “this relationship ends here.”

However, the reasons we can still be together, I believe we changed and made some rules to get to know each other better.

 

1. Keep personal spaces.

The apartment we lived at first had only 1room.

So, I can easily know where he is and what he does.

Even a couple in LOVE would stress out if they get attention for 24 hours from a partner. And it leads to arguments as well.

We moved to a bigger apartment afterwards.

Then now we barely have an argument.

 

2. Go to bed when your partner does.

I was completely night person.

Since I was always watching TV until I felt sleepy, the bedtime was usually around 1AM.

However, Jeff is totally morning person.

He gets up at 5:30AM no matter what day of the week it is.

Therefore he goes to the bed early as well.

He usually sleeps before 11PM. I was still staying up late before, but changed to my lifestyle; sleep early and wake up early with Jeff.

By spending the same daily rhythm, we can have more communication.

 

3. Make the time and environment to talk with your partner.

I spend a lot less time on watching TV after living with Jeff.

We usually watch news in the morning on TV, though don’t turn it on in the evening.

We have dinner together and talk about our day.

Face-to-face talk is the basic of conversation.

People tend to forget the importance as the relationship goes longer.

 

4. Try your partner’s favorite food/seasoning.

I know even Japanese couple have the difference in food culture.

Jeff and I also had issues on this. People in Taiwan love strong taste like garlic, red pepper, and Wasabi.

So does Jeff.

Therefore I was often embraced especially when Jeff poured hot chili peppers on his food at restaurants.

And it turned out to be an argument.

Now Jeff likes mild seasoning more, and I use little spicy seasoning more when I cook.

We should not just deny what the other loves to eat, but should think how we can have a good dietary life together.

 

5. Do not continue an argument for too long.

We often had had many arguments since we were in long distance relationship.

I used to be very stubborn, and always waited Jeff for his apology for me. 

However, it didn’t work out as we lived longer.

If neither of us apologize and the bad mood continues, everything becomes inefficient.

And if the situation lasts longer, it would be harder for both us to find the timing to apologize. 

To get to know each other better, having an argument may be essential.

However, if you want to be with your partner longer from now on, you don’t need to live in the bad mood for long.

Know your partner’s thought, and change the mood quickly, and discuss with calm mind,

“Now what should we do?” 

 

Do you have any rules to have a good time with your partner?