This article is also available in: 日本語
Hi,
It is Jeff.
I was having dinner with some close friends of mine in Tokyo last Friday night and I was told that
“you and Mizuki look so happy on those blog stories. When I read your blog, I forgot that you guys were almost breaking up last year.”
Um, yep….
We look like a very happily married couple but we actually had been though a lot of argument and fights.
We almost broke up last year.
I know that all of you must have been experiencing times when others perceive you as you were very happy but you actually have a lot of untold sad stories.
I think the other side of this story definitely counts and it is equally important as the side you have been reading.
Therefore, I would like to share some with you today.
Before moving to Japan, I had a decent job as a sales representatives in Taiwan and I was ready to go all in to earn my way to the top.
Suddenly the massive earthquake hit Japan and changed everything.
Japan was seriously hurt.
There was a power shortage and as a result, Mizuki was not able to get out of her apartment because she is unable to take stairs and elevator stopped.
I was worrying about her so much that I could not help but quit my job and move to Japan 5 months after the earthquake.
I moved to Japan with a passionate and loving heart and, of course, my whole saving in Taiwan.
I brought about 300,000 JPY.
It was a lot for me and I didn’t know that is just a little more than an average monthly wage in Japan.
I dreamed that I could quickly secure a stable finance source and get my feet on the ground.
I was even planning to go to grad school even though I had no money at the time.
I had plans and dreams. Soon I got crushed.
1. Different Perspectives of Value
I knew that things in Japan are expensive but I just didn’t realize how much the impact would be for me.
A bus ride in Tokyo is about 210 JPY but in Taiwan it is 45 JPY.
A regular business lunch in Japan is about 1,000~1,500JPY.
However, it is about 250 ~450 JPY in Taiwan and you can even take out some extra soup at some restaurants.
The average daily expense in Japan is 3 times higher than the daily expenses in Taiwan.
My 300,000 JPY drained very quickly in the few weeks I got here so Mizuki started cutting costs.
She started limiting what food I could buy.
One day she banned my from buying chocolate bread.
I was so mad and we got into a really serious argument over chocolate bread.
The chocolate bread costed only 98 JPY and it was good for 3 breakfasts, by the way.
I was very mad because I quit my job and moved to Japan for her and she would not even let me buy a piece of chocolate bread with my own money.
2. Seeing the Different Sides of Mizuki for the First Time
I thought I knew what type of person Mizuki is since we had dated for 4 years remotely at the time. (Oh boy, yeah. Remotely……)
I knew nothing.
She is a very independent woman and sometimes is very demanding.
She wants things to be done in her way.
She had lower tolerance of ambiguity compared to me.
For example, she does not allow adding spice into miso soup.
She said miso soup is one of important Japanese culture and you should respect it and enjoy it as the way it is.
You should not put spice in your miso soup, she said.
She was very angry when I added spice to my miso soup for the very first time.
She stroke the table like I had cheated on her. I did not cheat on her. I just put some spice in my miso soup. (tears)
3. Language Barrier
I thought my entry level of Japanese proficiency would get me blended in very quickly.
I was wrong. People do not change the speed they talk because I am a foreigner.
People I worked with sometimes think repeating one sentence very very quickly would help me understand.
Repetition does help but slowing down the talking speed would have helped a lot more.
What was worse is that when Mizuki was mad she spoke Kyoto dialect, which is a language that is so different from regular Japanese and I can barely understand.
I have experienced hundred difficult things in Japan.
I can write on and on but let’s take a break here.
I will write about how I had overcome these barriers and got to where we are today.
Stay tuned!