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Hi,
It is Jeff. Hope you are doing well.
Last week I went back to Taiwan to spend my Chinese New Year at home with my parents. It is my first Chinese New Year after marriage and I have thought a lot about my parents and how they reacted to my marriage with Mizuki. My mom was not supportive when she found out that I was dating with Mizuki, a moon rider (wheelchair user). It is not my parents are discriminating persons with disabilities. It is just that dating with persons with disabilities is a very alien concept, filled with unknowns, to my parents and it makes my parents worried about me.
Long before I started dating with Mizuki, my mom expressed her feeling of marriage with persons with disabilities to me when we were attending one of her friends’ weddings. I was around 10 years old at the time. The wedding ceremony was hosted at a local restaurant in Taiwan. I also remember it was my first time to eat sashimi (raw fish slices). I actually did not like sashimi at the time and I was not a big fan of wasabi either. When the main dish of sashimi was served, the groom and bride were invited to the main stage and made a speech to all guests. The bride wore a beautiful purple dress, I recall. She looked like she was trying very hard to stand up with the dress and 2 crutches around her both arms.
When the bride made her speech, which I cannot remember what she said, my mom told me that:
“It is unfortunate that the bride has mobility disability.
It must be very difficult for the groom and the bride. Their future are probably filled with difficulties and inconvenience. I really do not understand why the groom had chosen the bride who has mobility disability. The groom must be stupid.”
I did not take her words seriously and did not even think about it too much. I guess I was focusing on the food served on the table and the Taiwanese juice drinks that I always enjoyed as a kid. I am sure my mom did not know that her first son will be one of the “stupid people” who marry a person with disability 20 years later.
As I am writing this post, I am recalling a lot of things my mom said. All the reality issues and problems she pointed out for me and Mizuki. As I grow older, it is getting more difficult to receive straightforward feedback and goodwill advices about me and my life. My mom did help me think carefully about my decisions and possible outcomes. She also prepared me well for the upcoming challenges.
I want to share how my mom reacted when she first found I was dating Mizuki and how she changed her thinking and then accepted the relationship I have with Mizuki. It may be a long story and I will try to tell it as good as I possibly could.
To be continued: What My Mom Said About Me Dating With A Wheelchair User – Part 2